Two weeks ago I helped a friend deep dive into her closet, I watched her make tough decisions that ultimately reaffirmed her belief in her clothing choices. After we finished up with her closet I went home and tried to do the same thing - the result was not as inspirational. (Or, you know maybe it was if you find a person freaking out inspirational)
I was left staring at a 25-pound laundry bag filled with clothes I could’ve sworn were investment pieces.
I reduced my closet by about 60%. I had the ruthlessness you only seem to have when you’re moving. I stared at things I purchased in 2022 with every intention of keeping forever and tossed them without a second thought.
Admittedly there was something cathartic about getting rid of things I knew didn’t truly fulfill what I wanted from my clothing. When I look at the arenas and saved images I compiled, very few pieces of clothing I owned translate. I know it’s important for me to process the fact that it’s likely the mood boards and brands I wanted to emulate weren’t actually akin to my actual everyday life, but that’s really really hard!!
About a year ago (January 2nd, 2022) I wrote out my “Wardrobe Overhaul” and decided I was going to be emulating Rejina Pyo, Eckhaus Latta, and Sandy Liang. Looking back now I understand I was just screen shooting outfits I liked on people who looked nothing like me- I wasn’t thinking about me at all. I was using phrases like “elevated basics” and discussing the intricacies of layering and then buying static pieces that built me an incohesive wardrobe that was getting 5% of my attention.
A huge barrier leading up to this moment was the fact that I refused to dress for my actual self. I was very tied to the idea that in a few months or years, I would look and dress differently. 2022 was a year of unabashed longing: I wanted my career back, and I wanted to be the twenty-year-old I was when the pandemic started. I felt like I was waking up every day in someone else’s life and eventually, I was gonna wake up from the dream with a funny story and newfound perspective. My ideal self was so delusional that I put myself in a more confusing place than I’d started out in.
I know that at this point someone better than me would come to the realization that self-acceptance and love are the way forward and while they might be, I want to be able to put on an outfit that I like even when I hate myself. I want to own the clothing that I like to a point where if I just get clothing on my body I’ll be alright.
Arriving in 2023 as a very different person I am looking forward to a year of calculated risk. I’ve read
, and watched Rian Phin's youtube videos too many times to count. Eventually, I broke out my journal and took detailed notes to actually have something to reflect upon.For the next few weeks (and the rest of this year) I’m going to document the process of learning to love my wardrobe. The two biggest pieces of advice I’m walking into the process with are
From
: Actually wear your clothes!!! 2023 is the year of repeating outfits and buying things that will see the light of day.From Rian Phin: Liking an item of clothing doesn’t mean you should own it, or that you’re going to wear it. I feel extremely embarrassed to admit that Rian’s video was the first time I had considered this concept.
This process has already completely wiped certain brands completely off my list and has reshaped my relationship to vintage shopping. The next part in this series I’m going to lay out some goals and rules - as well as decide whether or not a mood board is useful- Stick around to watch me figure it out as I go and hopefully end up in a place of less and more positive consumption!